Scary Place

 It is a scary place

no fun anymore
Your nakedness is seen
just a play
just a drama

Whose world the happiest?
Try
When will you are the happiest?
In enjoying small things
ate lots of mangoes until your stomach hurts
humming the same song over and over
laugh until no more sadness appears
Cover it well
for the universe hugs and kiss you
thru wind and sunrise everyday
cover it well
for the world being so cruel
for a country could not save some lifes
for parents kill their baby, or God damn it,
for people ignore each other
for bullying takes one life over
for fakeness is a hype
for being you is a cursed
for your deep down vulnerability

Its countless completely
so try a least
on those small things

Healing

fall in love with mind and big heart
If there is no such thing
I rather lost on my thought and die alone

Sebuah Doa

 Ya Tuhan, jangan sampai saya banyak bacot tapi malas baca

Ya Tuhan, jangan sampai saya apatis karena malas baca juga
Ya Tuhan, jangan sampai saya kalau komen, tidak mengerti substansi
Lalu meracau di format dan hal-hal tidak penting lainnya
Bikin tambah masalah

Ya Tuhan, jangan sampai saya kalau jadi orang lebih banyak diformalitas
Ya Tuhan, jangan sampai saya menertawai orang yang idenya bersebrangan lalu meremehkan
Ya Tuhan, jangan sampai karena saya suka orangnya, saya lalu angkat-angkat
Tapi kalau dia salah, tau dengan kritik to
Ya Tuhan, jangan sampai karena saya terima beasiswa pemerintah
Lalu mandek kritik gara-gara sistem yang tidak mau dikritisi
Ya Tuhan, jangan sampai saya tidak kreatif, saya takut cuma jadi penjilat atau apatis.
Ya Tuhan, jangan sampai saya jadi penakut, menyadari bukan siapa-siapa.
Ya Tuhan, jangan sampai saya jadi sumber hoax, tidak tahu pilah pilih informasi


Ya Tuhan, kalaupun saya berakhir di 3 R (KasuR, dapuR, SumuR)
Minta izin untuk tetap kritis, tidak sebatas
‘Aduh mama sayange, su capek urus suami, urus anak mo tambah lagi urus negara”
Ya Tuhan, jangan sampai saya bebal.
Ya Tuhan, jangan sampai saya mengacuhkan apa-apa yang saya baca, yang saya dengar di gedung tinggi, di gedung AC, hanya untuk dapat nilai A di kertas
Ya Tuhan, jangan sampai saya lalu putus asa, mengeluh “mending tidak tahu apa-apa” karena tidak berdaya

Ya Tuhan, jangan sampai saya banyak bacot atau apatis gara-gara malas baca
Juga ya Tuhan, titip, kalau saya suka dia, dianya tidak, jangan sampai sa pu hati sakit setengah mati.

(Appreciated those Zgen-who on behalf of us trying to fight for better democracy-)
From me-Y gen who might be oriented to self- y

What's happen lately?

 Hi world,

Can I kiss you again? Can I nag and murmur at you? For all the unfairnes and sadness happen lately.Hello, Its been a while to leave writing habit. I am happy to be back again. Jiwa lamaku bersorak sorai sebab waktunya kembali menghampiri. Dunia perpolitikan Indonesia sedang sedih sedihnya. Presiden baru muka lama yang sedang diuji keberpihakannya, dengan gaya lama pencitraan yang coba dibawakan kembali. Beberapa orang bilang sudah saatnya "social media strategist" -nya diganti. Butuh orang baru, butuh inovasi. Lebih tepatnya, please bapak e su ti pake itu pencitraan, kasih solusi masalah saja bapak. Masa setelah kunjung lahan yang dibakar dan melihat derita masyarakat yang menghirup kabut asap, tim bapak lalu posting soal menghabiskan waktu keluarga. Then I can't blame people throwing critics at you but you deserve.

Lalu mari bergeser ke persetujuan undang-undang KPK. It took no time to be agreed like I mean they were kind of rushing it, didn't they? Its kind of sad there were not so many protests on it from people that I think would like help common people like us to understand what is it about. Rest in Peace, KPK! Lebih banyak birokrasi yang harus dilewati juga perizinan pada kelompok dewan yang terhormat. Lalu tidak akan ada yang ditangkap karena kasus korupsi. Semuanya aman sesuai prosedur. I was a bit surprised and sad there were no so much protest and booming like other issues really. Where are you people?  There was a hope at the end of the week, to see students being a part of the movement. Super proud.

Kemudian RUU KUHP yang beberapa memuat poin-poin yang masih mengandung ketidakadilan pada minoritas juga tidak jelas. Mereka yang gelandangan didenda, is this a problem solving way? memutus rantai permasalahan pada akarnya?

Menertawai undang -undang yang lebih fokus ke urusan selangkangan dan menutup informasi untuk pendidikan seksual sejak dini. Padahal informasi ini penting sekali. Tentu saja dengan poin penting pada target dan gaya pemyampaian.

I was in Makassar last month, bought underwears with group of friends. Ifa was an activist in giving children sexual education.  As one that exposed with so much information available in term of sexuality, I was embarrassed to bring to a cashier whom was a man so I gave my underwears to my friend. Ifa, who was like a mother, Ka Rosa kenapa? Kasih sendiri aja? Kenapa malu kak?"

This was one of scene that I contemplated the most for the whole week, I realized that I am lacking on deep understanding about being a woman and facing her sexuality.This one shall not pass. Sending lots of love and hugs for those who speak up about this. Universe will conspire for all the fairness ideas, action and movement.

Hello!

 ts been a while

To feel this vulnerability
To feel this unorganized mind
To feel this butterflies

Its been a while
Say hello
Say hi
No Goodbye

Its been a while
To feel this naked
To feel this exposed
To feel this excitement

Its been a while
Say hello
Say hi
No Goodbye

For I am a fragile soul
and I deserve your gentle touch
For I am a fragile soul
and I deserve your wild love